Tuesday, November 06, 2007


Please go vote. I can't vote in the mayoral race as I no longer live within city limits. Remember, if you don't vote, don't bitch.

If I could vote, I'd vote for my adult life-long dream: Charleston seceding from the union and the state of South Carolina to form our own city-state. Anyone not in residence for ten years will be escorted to the border.

Developers will be required to live in the neighborhoods they build and send their children to the overcrowded schools they create.

Gay marriage will be legal.

Medical marijuana will be legal.

Every citizen over the age of ten will be required to write an essay demonstrating that they understand the difference between the ravages of poverty and the happenstance of race.

The phrase "well, back where I come from" would be illegal and you will be driven to where you come from and left there.

Every citizen will be required to be able to appropriately answer the question, "Who's your kin?"

Cell phones will be banned while driving, shopping, or eating in restaurants. Or walking down streets. Or standing in lines. Yes, go hide in a closet to speak on your cell phone, thank you very much.

Every child under the age of 15 will be required to attend a finishing/manners class.

That should get us off to a good start.

Loki sez: May I be in charge of the Charleston National Opera?


Biffle said...

re: getting rid of those living here less than ten years:

if you really did that wouldn't you be getting rid of most of the folks that support gay marriage, medical maryjane, know the subtleties of race problems, etc?

JanetLee said...

Wow. Harsh.