Thursday, November 15, 2007

Garden of Weeds

That was the working title of my novel. Everyone who has read it or listened to me read from it in the writer's group I used to belong to simply called it "Meg" after the protagonist.

The title came from a quote that I'd heard (or read) years ago, so long ago I can't remember the source: A weed ain't nothing but a flower blooming out of place.

There is also a connection between a drawing of a garden by the main character and the creation of a real garden. And the journey between the two.

But I have been a very bad bad girl. Very lazy. So lazy that even my beloved has begun mentioning my lack of new writing, perhaps sensing that I need a kick in the ass.

And I think it is this. Writing Garden of Weeds was extremely emotional. It delves deep into the realities of domestic abuse and the mental contortions a woman of no means must go through to enable her to endure abuse without going insane. It also deals with the realities and anxieties and hardships of getting out of a situation that while despised, it is a known world. The outside unknown world is what is scary.

And after the emotional highs and rushes of that, everything else I write seems drab and boring. It bores me to write it.

I began this year with the idea that I would concentrate on non-fiction essays. Which I suck at. Seriously. So I gave that up and began working on a short story and the conversion of a short novel written many years ago. I liked the characters, disliked the story. That fizzled.

Part of it, I think, is that I don't have the audience of my writer's group. I really did sit down to write just because I knew people were waiting for the next installment. I won't go into the reasons why I don't attend meetings anymore other than to say it was just something that I could not bear to endure any longer. (and it had nothing to do with the critique of my work, I actually loved that part)

So now, nearing the years end, all I have accomplished is almost finishing the short story. Actually, I'll probably finish it today. First draft finish, but finished.

I just don't know what to do to make it exciting for me again.

Thor sez: Don't worry about it. I'm going to kill you in your sleep.


Margo said...

My friend has a blog called garden of dandelions.

jaz said...

I have mixed feelings about writing groups.

They can be great for networking, however.