Just have the terrorist suspects paint ceilings. They'll be spilling the beans in about fifteen minutes! Ten if Thor gets to help.
I like to paint. I'm weird that way, I know. It goes back to my years of living in moderate poverty. I might not be able to buy new furniture or new rugs, but $15 would get you a fresh coat of paint and perk the place right up.
But I'd never painted a ceiling. Never lived in one place long enough I suppose, for the ceilings to need paint.
It might not have been so bad if I hadn't had the bright idea that as long as I was having to move everything, I might as well do a big time cleaning as I went. Dusting, sweeping, vacuuming, taking curtains down, hauling cat trees into the kitchen - oh run Loki run it's the end of the world! Then spreading out the drop cloths, now that is where Thor's help becomes annoying. See, he's cute, but (whispers) not really that bright sometimes. So he dashes under the drop cloth, enjoying the crinkling noises until he realizes he can't see his way out. Panic ensues. Drop cloth put back in place. Repeat twice.
See, now all that was before I even grasped my handy-dandy designed for painting ceilings roller brush with the drip guard (which really did work) and the extended handle. Worked great but was really heavy, so frequent hand cramp breaks began.
The paint I got was supposed to 'paint on purple, dry white'. Well, it was more like a paint on barest of lavender, dry almost immediately in the sunlit, warm room. About half way through, my thoughts on missed spots, streaks or overlaps were running along the lines of "Who looks at ceilings anyway?" and "If anyone spends that much time critiquing my ceiling paint, they are freaks anyway so WGAF?"
In the interest of possibly returning to work next week NOT in a neck brace, I have finished one room and will not attempt any more today. Tomorrow, if I have the use of my hands, arms and shoulders, I will attempt the kitchen ceiling.
Unless the CIA has anyone sitting around in the Navy Brig....?
Thor sez: But I like to help!