For Real?

It's check up time. I've gotten everything done except the mammogram. So I found the order form my doc gave me and called the number listed to make the appointment.

And a pleasant recorded voice thanked me for calling the scheduling center for X, Y and Z places and told me that she wanted me to have a "pleasant scheduling experience."

For real?

I mean, I thought I was calling to make an appointment, I didn't realize I was having a scheduling EXPERIENCE.

I felt like perhaps I should hang up because I was still in my pajamas and I'm pretty sure I still had coffee breath and bed head. Certainly I wasn't prepared to have an experience.

And just how should one prepare for a scheduling experience? Are jeans and sweater okay? Should I put on slacks and a blouse? Or is it more formal? Should I have shaved my legs and worn a dress? With or without pearls?

I tried to remember all the Emily Post, Ann Landers and Heloise I had read over the years but I just couldn't remember anything about the proper etiquette for having a scheduling experience.

I was so disconcerted about the possibility that I might fail to have a pleasant scheduling experience that I almost missed the pre-recorded list of extension numbers I was to press to reach the proper person for my scheduling experience. Luckily it was right there on my doctor's order form.

And gosh darn it, I just made my mind up that I was going to have a pleasant scheduling experience no matter what! Coffee breath, bed head and all!

So I was all tingly with excitement while waiting on hold and when a human actually come on the line, I almost convulsed with joy.

She took my name, confirmed my address and gave me a date and time.

And just like that, it was over.

Oh it was so quick, so brief. I'm glad I'd been pre-warned to enjoy this experience or I would have thought that I was just making an appointment.

Loki sez: This is not a pleasant petting experience!