A month or so ago, I bought a window sticker from a store in the mall. It says "Native" with the "i" being a Palmetto tree. As we natives are now an endangered species in our own state, I felt it time to join the few remaining in a show of solidarity.

When I bought the thing, I handed the teen-age girl my money and asked if that was all. She gave me a perfect "HUH?" face. I then asked if she didn't need to see a birth certificate. I was then treated to a wonderfully executed "cut eyes to friend" manuever, with the eyebrows slightly raised meaning "I think this woman is crazy". She stammered out a "No."

Sigh. I hate when people don't get my jokes.

I'm sure every corner of this great nation of ours that is attracting out of town residents is suffering the same "Everything I can possibly think of was better back home" speeches. It is annoying.

Now, I don't dislike Yankees. Really, I can't. I'm biracial myself: half Southern, half Yankee (and the worst kind of Yankee too - a Conneticutt Yankee). I've even got one living in my house right now. They can be funny, intelligent people.

But they really must stop complaining. And they really must watch the tacky tasteless jokes which they utilize to impart a "yes I live down here, but I am SO much better than the poor slobs who had the great misfortune to be raised here" attitude.

The best I can explain it, it's like how African-Americans can call each other certain things. Only real Southerners can joke about certain things.

Hey? Know the difference between a Yankee, a damn Yankee and a God-Damn Yankee??
Hey! Not so funny now.