Sunday, December 11, 2005

Jason likes the show "Smallville". So I try to watch it with him. I've found that it helps if I have a smidge over my limit of two glasses of wine. Because he likes it, I try not to ruin the "magic" for him. But really. Who writes this show?? Fifteen year olds?

I've managed contain myself to muscle straining bouts of eye-rolling whenever Cloe saves the day with her handy dandy apparantly magic computer upon which she can locate the interior security schematics of the Pentagon in about thirty seconds, all from a field in E.B.F., Kansas.

I've learned to twiddle my thumbs during the copied-straight-from-the-big-book-of-retarded speeches parents give dialogue written for Clarkie's parents.

I've even learned to view with amusement the post-show phone calls from a certain friend of Jason's moaning about how hot Lois Lane is.

So, I've pretty much learned to endure. But last Thursday, I had to leave the room. It was some stupid premise, some strange tip of the hat to It's a Wonderful Life. Lex could be good and have Lana, but he has to chose in the end to be bad because if he stays good, Lana will die.

First off. Do the writers on that show KNOW what RESEARCH is???? Picking up the phone and calling a grown up to even ask if something is REASONABLY possible?

Number one. Lana has a baby. All happy scene, then she flops back in bed, assumes her standard horrified (but-I'm-pretty!) expression and the nurses push Lex out of the room saying she needs a transfusion. Okay. I thought it was going to be a pulmonary or amniotic embolism. To the writers of Smallville: It takes less time to attempt a cauterization (the burning shut of bleeding vessels) AND do an emergency hysterectomy if said cauterization does not work than it does for the blood bank to cross and type and send down blood for a transfusion.

Number two. The "teamster strike". Cleo has to get Clarkie to use his superpowers to deliver the Toys for Tots toys because the teamsters go on strike on Christmas Eve. Okay. Teamsters have a union. And a damn good one. They do not work Christmas Eve. And Toys for Tots toys are not delivered Christmas Eve. The registered families are given a date to come down to a collection site to pick them up.

I won't even get in to the several well decorated Christmas trees with presents already under them in that Clarkie delivered these presents to after Cleo told him that the kids would get no presents at all if he didn't help her.

Or the drunk Santa about to kill himself over the lack of Christmas spirit.

Thor writes better.

1 comment:

jaz said...

You forgot to mention Lex STANDING by the window in his hospital room to pensively reflect on his choices maybe a half-hour or so after he had EMERGENCY SURGERY to relieve pressure on his SPINAL CORD.

We just have to imagine the show is taking place in a reality where biological plausibility is slightly... off.