Do people really make New Year's Resolutions? Or is it just one of those things that we say we do because everyone else says they do so we don't want to seem like out of the loop geeks?

My public resolutions: Overcome my dentist phobia and get those bridges done. Exercise more. Take my vitamins. Drink more water. Lose those last ten pounds. Write everyday. Finish my novel in progress by this time next year. Actually do the paperwork to change my name. Get my hair cut before it becomes a floppy mess resembling the Brady Bunch's mom's shag.

My real resolutions: Turn the CD player up way loud and sing along as often as possible. Resist the urge to bash this computer's so-called brains out with a baseball bat (given the fact that I'd have to go buy a bat at a place called DICK'S makes this one easy). Take even MORE pictures of my kittens. Continue to polish my super-human powers of procrastination.

Hey, why set yourself up for failure when you can set yourself up for success?