Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Damn you, Disney!

The other night at work, a co-worker asked me if I knew what a lemming was. I said it was some rodent-type creature that was known to commit mass suicide by following the leader of the “pack” off cliffs.

She didn’t quite believe me and went where all people of good sense go: Google.
And she was right not to believe me.

I was partially right. Lemmings are rodent-like creatures.

But I was wrong about the suicide thing.

Seems that was an evil cruel hoax perpetuated upon the public by none other than Re-Writing-History-One-Crappy-Kid-Movie-At-A-Time Disney!

Yes. Disney. That bastion of wholesome family entertainment actually MURDERED poor innocent lemmings in a sleazy attempt at drama and slander….uh..libel…uh, whatever it is when you LIE about poor innocent creatures to make them look stupid when you are actually actively murdering them!

Don’t believe me? Take a gander here. Poor things were imported to an unfamiliar habitat, spun around on wheels and flung over cliffs. All so Disney could get a dramatic shot.

They should have to pay restitution! They should be forced to issue a public apology to all lemmings of the world and to the public in general for the slur on the reputation of lemmings that they, Disney, purposely and maliciously created.

They should have to build and maintain lemming habitats, sponsor lemming education programs and probably even set up scholarships for the youth that they, Disney, indoctrinated with this negative image.

Well. Maybe not all that. But they were evil.

I hate them more now.

May Snow White get syphilis.

2 comments:

Jason said...

Hmm... interesting concept...

"Snow with Syphilis," a post-modern reinterpretation of Snow White in which the evil queen gives Snow an apple smeared with spirochetes... for the kiss scene, the prince could inject her with 2.4 mU of benzathine penicillin. The day is saved! Then the dwarves line up for prophylaxis as the final credits roll...

JanetLee said...

I tend to prefer the untold story of the 8th dwarf - Drippy. But that would be the big G, I suppose.