Bad: Order a ton of new scrubs for work. Get email from scrub place: all your tops are out of stock, we'll send them later. Get another email from scrub place: all your scrub tops are no longer being manufactured, we'll credit your card. Get another email from scrub place: we sent your pants!
Good: Mr. Bluebird was checking out the bird house. Saw him again this morning, sitting on the telephone wire, singing his little blue heart out. Searching for a new baby momma, I'm sure.
Good: Starting my long stretch off.
Bad: My house looks like I just finished my long stretch on.
Bad: Suspecting that the UPS man is at the front door.
Good: Mom breaking out the nip.