Saturday, September 13, 2008

The Things People Say!

We were waiting in line at Total Wino, er, Wine this morning. In front of us was a lady and an elderly lady. The cashier was busy ringing their purchases up and when she was done, she looked up at the elderly lady and in a sing-song voice one might use with a very young child said:

"Look at you, standing there so nice!"

What the forty seven fucks?

The elderly lady said something I couldn't hear, (I hope it was fuck you bitch) then the cashier said in that same sing-song voice:

"Well you better get on home and get your rest now!"

I was so disgusted I could barely refrain from saying something to the cashier about it.

Can't people just talk to people like they are people?

This afternoon, I was flipping through the TV channels, looking for something to distract me from the raging headache/sore throat/stuffy nose I got going on, when I caught a snippet about a doctor who delivered a baby in a shelter during Hurricane Ike. Now, when they mention baby, I gotta stop, even if it was Faux News. (Jason clicked on that channel last night just to annoy me and up on my screen popped Bill O'Reilly AND Karl Rove...I started screaming and covered my eyes, yelling "It burns, it burns! My eyes!" Then I shielded my eyes with my arm and began to hit random numbers on the remote while sobbing, "is it gone?" Well, it amused me.)

Any way, the Faux news idiot, I mean bimbette, I mean liar, I mean anchor desk person, after talking to the doctor gushed:

"I know you don't want to be called a hero, but you are one! God knows what would have happened in that bathroom if you hadn't been there!"

Know what would have happened?

The baby would have come out.

They don't sit in the uterus waiting for a doc to show up.

Believe me. I've been at a few "nurse attended" deliveries.

Thor sez: Babies come from where???


Pixel Peeper said...

Faux News... this made me laugh so hard, I almost spit coffee at my monitor!

LOVE LOVE LOVE reading your blog!

JanetLee said...

Thank you. I wish I could take credit, but alas, I shamelessly stole "Faux News" from somewhere.

Chris M said...

Loved it! I always read your blog, and this one made me laugh out loud just at a time in my day when I needed it.


JanetLee said...

Thanks Chris! Glad I could brighten your day a bit.