Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Hell Does Exist on Earth

And ye shall know it by its true name:

Chuck E. Cheese.

This story did not surprise me: Moms Brawl at Chuck E. Cheese

No, what surprises me is that it doesn't happen every day in those hell-holes known as Chuck E. Cheese.

I mean, what kind of stupid herd following SUCKERS are we moms? That we take large groups of small children into a swirling cacophony of blaring discordant sounds of what is supposed to be music, constantly wailing bells and sirens from video games, amplified voices distorted into unrecognizable syllables, screaming overstimulated children who are usually terrified of the dancing mechanical animals, and adults on the verge of nervous breakdowns screaming at children.

We then put into our mouths and bodies the slimiest pools of grease and flour and tomato paste and call it "pizza". We wash it down with water and high fructose corn syrup mixed with chemical colors and flavors. Then follow it up with lard and even more HFCS mixed with flour and call it "birthday cake".

Then we deal with diarrhea and vomiting and behavior issues from strung out, chemically altered children all night.

And we call it fun. We say we must do it for the children. Because the children enjoy it so.

I'll tell you a secret. When my child got birthday invitations to that place, if it wasn't from an immediate family member, I'd throw it away.

And if it were a family member, someone would get horribly, contagiously ill the day before the party.

Loki sez: I went there once. It was horrible. I still have nightmares!


Anonymous said...

It's why they sell beer and wine! At least in California they do. Only way I ever go through it. Love, Auntie

Pat said...

I'm with you, Janet. I took my kids to Chuck E. Cheese once, ignorant fool that I was. Never again. Disney World isn't much better, just more expensive!

Sunnie (Kaytee) said...

I have never paid to go to Chuck E Cheese. My kids beg me to take them there for their birthdays. (The three older ones all have bdays within 2 weeks of each other.) I'd rather take them to Frankie's Fun Park. At least they have go carts and putt putt. LOL And there are no cheesy songs and shows to suffer through! LOL

janet said...

Tim Wilson has a song that is Hi-larious. The refrain is "I'd rather spend a year in jail, than one more minute in Chuck E. Cheese hell."