Saturday, September 29, 2007

To sleep - perchance to dream

Insomnia sucks.

Years ago, I couldn't fall asleep. I would lay awake in the dark, my mind racing, out of control, imagining disasters, reliving disasters, worrying and fretting until my muscles ached and my poor brain felt feverish.

Now, I fall asleep easily. Only to awaken three or four hours later, unable to convince my mind that there is more sleep to be had. No, my mind tells me, we're fine. We don't need anymore sleep. Let's go eat and watch TV since you insist on remaining quiet so that others may sleep.

And if only it were that I was just one of those people who only need a few hours sleep and can function perfectly well. Alas, not I. By eleven am or noon, I am slack jawed, glassy eyed and miserable, wanting nothing more than to nap, but forcing myself to stay awake so perhaps I can sleep through the coming night.

And when bedtime finally comes, I fall asleep immediately. And awaken three or four hours later.

It's aggravating.

Loki sez: You have it all wrong - you are only supposed to be awake four hours a day and nap around the clock.


Pat said...

Janet, I don't know how you girls do it. My daughter works WOW nights at the NNICU, comes home for a few hours nap, then picks up the kids from school. Bless your hearts! I would be a blithering idiot.

Chris said...

I totally identify with you on this. Even now, at 5AM, I am reluctant to try and go to bed lest I wake up at like noon and not have enough sleep for work tonight. (sigh).

JanetLee said...

Pat - you are assuming that I'm not a blithering idiot! Haha!

Chris - I really think this is due to my new schedule of three on, one off, three on, seven off. It is taking me a couple of days to flip my sleep cycle back to sleeping at night.

Margo said...

Poor thing. My husband has sleep apnea, I know all about sleep struggles. I hope it gets better for you.