Thursday, September 13, 2007

Dear Product Development Team at Pantene:

First, I would like to say that I love all your products. Whether my hair was colored red or brown, whether I was protecting my color treated hair or enhancing the shade du jour, I was a Pantene gal through and through.

I have, I must confess, over the years strayed a time or two, but I always came right back to my beloved Pantene.

Can you imagine my delight then, when I discovered a new product - Silver Expressions- while schlepping the aisles at my local Bilo?

Silver Expressions! Daily Color Enhancer! For "sterling to snow"!

It is just so like such a wonderful company as yourself to be on the cutting edge of hair culture! To realize that we baby boomers are not hiding anymore. That we are gray and silver and white haired and damned proud of it! We are strong! We are vibrant! We are sexy! We are redefining beauty and we don't care what anyone says.

It only made me love you more!

I bought the shampoo and conditioner with my white head held high. I could barely wait until the next day when I could use my new Silver Expressions.

Yes, I was so excited, I got up early the next morning, just so I could hop in the shower and try.....


What is this? What is this blob of purple shit in my hand? Purple? Blueing? Blueing! You have got to be kidding me!

Suddenly, I'm not a proud Silver Expressionist, I'm the hunched over little old lady, wobbling down the aisle at church wearing a bright canary yellow polyester dress, with her freshly blued hair glowing lavender in the morning sunlight.

I'm the little old lavender headed lady getting her hair washed and set once a week at Wanda Sue's Set 'N Curl.

And worse, there isn't even really blueing in your shampoo (nor the lovely lavender conditioner), you just made it that color!

Why? I beg you why? Why? Why?

Here I thought you were on my side! I thought you got it! But you were just making fun of me! Weren't you?

After all these years. I thought I knew you!


Apparently Little Old Lady

P.S. A couple boxes of free stuff would probably make me feel better.

Thor sez: Sheesh, there was less screaming on giant spider day!


pogren said...

I use a similar product and thought the same thing the first time I saw it in my doesn't make your hair keeps it from being a creepy yellow color. Celebrate your natural-ness!!!

Carla said...

I'm a devoted Pantene customer too - with almost white hair. Never mind! I'll stick with my extra body formula!

Marcheline said...

Hey, amid all the screaming and blue-hairedness, just remember -

that box of Miss Clairol is only one grocery trip away...


- "Dyed Till I Die M"