Friday, September 07, 2007

Not Fair!

I see how it is. When Pam ventures out to her porch on a fine summer morning, she gets pictures of exotic and beautiful moths.

When I come drag-a$$ing home after a night in grumpy baby land and pause for a moment on the porch to wave at the boys as they eagerly await my arrival, I find this an inch from my forehead:





And I did what any properly raised Southern Belle of a certain age would do: I screamed. Which drew the attention of my next door neighbor, but I told him it was just a giant spider, so he went back to his business (a Yankee transplant, dontcha know, a real Southern gentleman would have at least offered to dispose of it for me.)

Then I did what any properly raised blogger would do: I grabbed the camera. And as I was snapping the picture, I knew I needed something for scale, but then I told myself, "Self, eff that stuff. A brick is good scale."



Of course, while I am standing back on my porch where a "giant spider" has just made me scream, my neighbor comes back out to his car. To see me taking pictures of the wall and perhaps a "giant spider", I know he thinks I'm a couple bubbles off plumb anyway because of the aluminum foil taped in my bedroom windows. Hey! It is the best window covering for day sleeping. It has nothing to do with the CIA possibly bugging my house because of my political affiliations! But I am now taking photographs and alternating saying things to the storm door. Things like, "No you fat goomba head, you can't come out and see the spider."


Thor sez: But I wanna see the giant spider!

Hey! At least I've not been spotted actually laying around in the yard taking pictures. I hear there's a lot of that going on up in Monck's Corner, don't ya know?

8 comments:

Heather said...

There's no laying in my yard right now. The great mowing stand off has begun again. Ellie is only 3 weeks old, I firmly believe I should have another 3 week reprieve. Meanwhile, a herd of wildebeests have taken up residence in our yard, and I fear lions when I venture out to check the mail.

Anonymous said...

Suspiciously similar in looks to the 'brown recluse' spider but they are not usually out in the sunlight! Should investigate and fumigate!

Margo said...

I have no shame.

...Face first in the dirt in the middle of the front yard just to get a shot of a stupid cricket.

I am the neighborhood weirdo and proud of it. ;-)

That looks like one creepy spider. I would have screamed too.

My Miri would have wanted to eat it. Thor's funny. :-)

jaz said...

I doused the area plenty good with insecticide, especially in the cracks, hollows, and spaces behind.

I noticed a massive spiderweb overhead on the porch (not quite Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets massive, but close enough) so I did away with that as well.

Sorry, spiders. I know that you are good for gardens and eat mosquitoes but, well, you should do those things at a distance.

Pam said...

Too funny (but first I have to get over the cat in the harlequinny thing) - yeah, I get the moths in the morning - but I also have an infestation of snakes that redeem me from the the glamour of moth world.

Anyway...my cat Haiku is always bugging me to take a picture of her and put a witty caption on it. I think that she might hire an attorney soon, and cite photoshop neglect.

Swampy said...

Your spider is a nursery web spider from the family Pisauridae and likely (Pisaurina mira).

This spider is not dangerous to humans and consumes insects that we consider pests, flies, gnats, and mosquitoes for example. The spider doesn't build a web, but wanders through vegetation looking for a meal. The web the female builds is a sphere to hold her eggs until they hatch.

Mark Musselman
Education Director
Audubon Center at Francis Beidler Forest

JanetLee said...

Mark - thanks for the ID. I didn't 'think' it was a brown recluse (too big).

Marcheline said...

Thanks, I will never sleep again. I'm with Ron Weasley where those things are concerned...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACKKKK!

- M