Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Day one and a half of antibiotics for a secondary throat infection, possibly an uclerated spot way too far down the throat for my doc to see and I felt good enough to go to the grocery store for a supply run.

As a rule, I don't make a grocery list. It's one of the ways I comfort myself that I'm doing okay. Now, if there are things I absolutely need and am afraid I'll forget, I'll write them down.

Jason and I got on the subject once and he told me a story of (I think it was) a professor he had in college. The man had had a hard scrabble rise to his position and a student asked him when did he know he was going to be alright.

The professor said it was when he could go in to the grocery store and buy what he wanted.

I can dig it. For too many years I took a list of exactly what I needed to make exactly how many meals until the next paycheck. I would have 25, maybe 30 dollars. As I put an item in my cart, I'd write down the rounded up price next to it on the list. When I was done, I'd get out the calculator and add it all up, not forgetting to factor in the sales tax (which should be abolished on food!).

Sometimes I had to put things back. Sometimes I could buy a pack of store-brand cookies for a treat.

It's a draining way to live.

So now I wander the aisles, looking at everything, trying what look goods, getting what I need and what I want.

I'm one of the fortunate ones and I try to remember that.

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