Two things I regret:
1. Trying to cut a tomato in a bowl so I wouldn't dirty up the cutting board.
2. Having to explain the above to the nice people at the emergency room. I'm sure somehow a notation has been made on my employee file: "too stupid to really work here".
Two things that I enjoyed watching:
1. My mom springing into SUPERMOM mode when I asked her for a ride to the emergency room.
2. The look on the nurse's face when she came to see what size band aid I needed.
(Hey! It bled like a mo-fo for TWENTY minutes! Every time I let up pressure, blood would pour out. How was I to know it would begin to clot off in an hour? Except for that being a nurse part. Sorry, but my own blood freaks me out. Your blood I can handle, my blood, um, not so much.)
Two rewards I gave myself:
1. Hello Kitty bandaids.
2. Jelly beans.
The two reasons you keep coming back to my prattle: