Oh, the Loki guilt I am getting. I can't believe I forgot Loki Sunday! It's been a strange week and is only going to get stranger as we move into next week.
Loki sez: You call that an apology? Where is my fancy Fancy Feast Chicken Florentine with Garden Greens????
As some may know, I came out of the closet recently and admitted to a near crippling bout of serious depression that has been going on for almost a year now, and rapidly got much worse in last few months of the year.
I'd been putting a good face on and pretending and hiding pretty well, but basically through December, I stayed in bed until I "had" to do something or interact with other humans, then put on my happy face for as long as I could.
And I come to have a little insight into all those "out of no-where" suicides that we've all known. A person can fake it for a good long while. It was scary when I started telling people the truth and most had no idea.
Then you add in the guilt factor. I have absolutely nothing to be depressed about. In a country where people are afraid for their jobs, I have had it pretty good. Good, stable job, good income, affordable home that I wasn't stressing about, good physical health, great relationship, healthy, happy family.
I love my FP doc, when I told her the above, she rolled her eyes and said, "Oh, yeah, nothing except that you are perimenopausal and you stopped taking your hormone birth control about six months ago and your brain chemistry is probably completely out of whack."
So I started on a medication and it was amazing, about the second week, I just got out of bed one morning and felt like ME again.
Now I am trying to clean up the mess of having done nothing essentially for the last four months. Getting myself back on track both physically and emotionally and mentally.
Loki sez: I'm sad cos I don't have extra breakfasts or extra cat nip parties.