Actual story on the MSNBC website: Five Top Holidays for Drinking.

Really. I think Easter is the only holiday that we don't use as an excuse to get drunk. I mean, it was even such a horrendous wait between St. Patrick's Day and Memorial Day that we appropriated Cinco de Mayo.

What's it mean? Who gives a shit! Tequila!!

We are disgusting.

Then I read the "top story" in the Onion about how people don't want to have a country anymore. That being part of America as a country is too tiring, too time consuming, too much of a hassle.

For a magazine that prides itself on it's satire, I'm surprised they did such a brutally honest and accurate story.

Jury duty? Boring waste of time. Voting? I've got to get my nails done that day. Keep up with what elective representatives are doing? I've got to find shoes to go with that little black dress I bought.

We just leave the actual boring details of running the country to some unknown, faceless "them" and just whine about it.

But hey, only two months until Cinco de Mayo!! Whooo-hooo!