Wednesday, November 16, 2005

I feel a little bad. I go on and on about my kittens and Sutu the Amazing 'Fraidy Cat, but we do have another pet.

Well...."pet" is a strong word. As is "we". Can I say there is another non-human animal co-existing in the house with us who belongs to Jason?

Now don't get me wrong. I don't dislike Mick Jagger. It's just that a "pet" that pisses and shits whereever it happens to feel the urge, including his own food bowl and MY LAP, doesn't exactly fall under the category pet. In my personal opinion.

The name fits him. Let his food bowl or his water thing get empty and he'll throw a tantrum to match any rock star's finest hissy fit.

And he is cute. From the shoulders forward. When he doesn't have a mushed up turd hanging off his butt or between his toes.

See:



Photograph by Jason Zwiker

People have asked me about having a guinea pig and cats. It's okay. Sort of. Sutu ignores him. Loki is mildly interested in a some-day-if-I-feel-like-it-I'll-kill-and-eat-you sort of way.

Thor. Sheesh. Mick and Thor are buds. Best buds. Open Mick's cage and Thor is in there in a flash, hanging out and squishing Mick turds between his own paws. The problem is that Mick is a randy little thing (whether due to his guinea pig-ness or just taking after his name sake, I don't know). And Thor is just a little innocent kitten who doesn't know any better.

How do I put this? We have to supervise their visits because Mick sexually molests my kitten. I don't hold it against him personally (very much) because he is an animal with a brain size that allows for only five life functions: eating, sleeping, pissing, pooping and having sex. But it is highly disturbing to find your kitten rolled over on his back with a guinea pig fast at his private parts.

Animals are weird.

2 comments:

katie farts said...

Wow... THat guinea pig is freakin' messed up! I love the ending makes me want to read more!

jaz said...

Mick says that he doesn't mind that you blogged about him.

He says that he was just... interested in learning more about Thor, that's all.

Now he's squealing, slamming his food bowl against the side of his cage, and demanding strawberries, damn it, strawberries! Stra-a-a-a-a-awberries!!!