I told a lie this morning. Not a big lie in the context of the universe, but a lie none the less. And a lie about myself.
And it made me wonder, why did I do that?
This is how it went down: I made a comment on Twitter about being out of wine and having to put on a bra and go to the wine store.
The loveLY (inside joke) Andra Watkins joked that I should just go braless and let the girls swing free.
And then I told one of those girls lies, disparaging my body.
And it was a lie. For an old broad, I've got a pretty impressive rack, even braless, the girls have better posture than my spine.
It seems women in our culture have been brainwashed to tell these lies about ourselves.
Wow! You look great!
"I'm fat and my hair is a mess."
It's more than not being able to accept a compliment. It's more than fearing to seem conceited if we like our bodies. (We can like ourselves, just not our thighs, or stomach, or face, or hands, or feet) It's more than just the image we get from Hollywood or the fashion industry. I am well beyond the influence of those cultures.
So, why did I do it? I dunno. Seemed like I should have at the time. Then I got to thinking about one of Jason's fellow photographers, Diana Deaver. Diana is from Romania and a year or so ago, she did a project that involved the negative talk American women engage in about their bodies. She did a series of photographs of the body parts people liked best about themselves. Jason and I had even discussed it, and I had said that I would have chosen my breasts.
So, again, why did I lie? And again I have no real answer other than I responded thoughtlessly and only showed how insidious the negative self talk is.
And yes, I know this is highly ironic coming immediately after my post on the diet plan I've chosen to try to follow. But I'm not a size 8 trying to get to a size 4. I'm a 50 year old peri-menopausal, pre-diabetic, high cholesterol having, arthritis in my knees having woman with great tits. My diet/exercise plan is for health, not weight, although I'd not cry if my belly shrank a wee bit, you know what I'm saying?
Loki sez: You don't want to be in the saggy belly kitten gang?