Thursday, February 16, 2012

Hey, Hey, Hey, Good Bye

No, not to KOTK, not yet anyways.

To the state of South Carolina.

No, not yet either. But getting closer.

People ask me why. Charleston is one of the most gorgeous places on the earth, why would you want to leave?

Have you seen and/or read The Help?

Okay, you know how the white women were always talking smack about the black women right in front of them, not even thinking about it or even caring about it?

That's how I'm made to feel almost every day in the lovely state of South Carolina. Almost anytime I venture out of my home, at some social gathering, at the workplace (although more rarely now that I have pointed it out to them), in the grocery store, in a doctor's waiting room, I am treated the way the black women in the movie/book were (are).

Because my skin is white. Because my hair is gray. Because I am middle aged. Because I reside in the South.

I have had my very core beliefs denigrated, attacked and vilified.

To my face.

And the people who do that simply EXPECT that I agree with them.

Or if I don't, too bad, I shouldn't be one of those people any ways.

I just want to live where there is some respect. Where you don't just expect that everyone agrees with you merely by the fact that they look like you or live near you.

That's all. I'm tired be being called names.

So tired that I can't even defend myself anymore. It's not even worth it. So I smile, detach myself from the conversation and walk away.

But your vile, poisonous words are still ringing in my ears.


Joan Perry; Sidewalk Curator said...

What! You are leaving Charleston?

JanetLee said...

Eventually. 2013 at least. Sooner depending on Jason's situation and house selling luck.

Anonymous said...

It is really hard to be a thinking progressive there. Hate to see you leave, but one more place for me to come visit!

Anonymous said...

This post made me really sad for you......other people cannot make you sad/mad if you don't let's taken me many years to realize that I get to decide what i think about......thoughts come into my mind but I DO NOT have to build them a I still get hurt or sad from time to time ...... Yes.....Because I live in this world......but I know who I am in Chirst.....I don't say this to offend you.....I know you are not a believer......but I do believe that He died for me so I will live for HIM.....I hope you find peace wherever you settle.
Pam, south bend

JanetLee said...

Point proven. Pam, I don't tell you you are stupid to believe. I don't tell you to move to Iran if you want to live in a theocracy. I don't tell you that you are wrong. You don't have people just walk up to you and say, "You know, this country would be better off if we just shot all the Christians in the head and left them on the border to rot."

These people aren't hurting my feelings. They aren't making me feel bad about myself. They are fucking pissing me off with their assumptions and their ignorance and outright inability to see anything other than their narrow minded view of the world.

Anonymous said...

I actually have had people say that to me......
I guess I was just trying to say that our peace has to come from within......I won't bother you any more....I do hope you find peace wherever you live.....I certainly didn't mean to offend you.

JanetLee said...

I call bologna. I was in the waiting room of my mother's pulmonary doctor and there was an interview on the TV with President Obama discussing a pathway to citizenship for children brought here illegally by their parents. The man next to me sort of snorted and looked at me and said, "We ought to just shoot all those liberals in the head and put 'em on the border to rot, make them Mexicans think twice."

Your incident?

You can try to make yourself feel all superior by pretending that I need to find "peace". I know what I have. I know how I feel. And I am justifiably angry about this one thing. Doesn't impact my entire life.

Anonymous said...

I don't feel superior.....I'm just thankful.....
I've been abused physically and sexually.....been poor
A single mom......struggled in many area of my life.....
I'm first generation removed from the Amish culture......they have a saying. "shine the light - but not in someone's eyes
I was just wishing you peace wherever you go.....not criticizing.....

Sharon said...

Janet, South Carolina came up in a discussion w/some friends the other day and I mentioned that I knew this tiny, tiny, brave speck of blue residing in that huge, ugly sea of red that is SC.

You do need to get out of there. I hope to someplace much, much better. And that the Boys will like.

P.S. This isn't your fault, but the new capcha is really, really hard!